There’s No Right Way to Grieve: Letting Go of the ‘Shoulds’ After a Loss
A young woman sits on a stool with her knees pulled to her chest, visibly crying. The room is softly lit, conveying the raw, quiet reality of grief.
Grief doesn’t follow a timeline or rulebook. Whether you're feeling numb, overwhelmed, or unsure how to move forward, therapy can help you process loss in your own way, without judgment or pressure.
Grief doesn’t follow a script. It doesn’t move in tidy stages or end on a schedule. And yet, so many people feel pressure to grieve “the right way,” to be strong, to stay busy, to cry more, to cry less, to get back to normal as fast as possible.
Here’s the truth: there is no one right way to grieve. And if you’re feeling stuck, numb, angry, or confused, you’re not broken. You’re grieving.
Grief Is More Than Just Sadness
While sadness is part of grief, many people also experience:
Guilt (“Why didn’t I do more?”)
Numbness or shock (“It doesn’t feel real”)
Anger or irritability (“Why did this happen?”)
Relief (especially after long illnesses or strained relationships)
Disbelief or avoidance
Physical symptoms like exhaustion, headaches, or changes in sleep/appetite
All of these are valid. All of them are human.
The “Shoulds” That Make Grief Harder
Grief becomes more painful when it’s buried under shame, silence, or expectation. You might hear or tell yourself:
“I should be over this by now”
“At least they’re not suffering”
“Other people have it worse”
“Crying won’t bring them back”
“I should be stronger for my kids/family/work”
But grief isn’t something to fix or rush through—it’s something to be witnessed, honored, and moved through at your own pace.
How Therapy Can Support the Grieving Process
Therapy doesn’t take the pain away, but it does give you space to feel it safely. In grief therapy, you can:
Name what you’ve lost, not just the person, but the routines, roles, or imagined futures
Explore complicated or “taboo” grief responses
Make space for anger, confusion, and meaning-making
Practice self-compassion when you feel numb or overwhelmed
Learn how to move forward without feeling like you’re letting go
Grief doesn’t shrink, it changes. Therapy helps you grow around it.
Work With Jennifer Anyaugo, RMHCI
Jennifer works with teens, adults, and parents navigating grief in all its forms; death, divorce, estrangement, miscarriage, and more. She creates a gentle, supportive space where you don’t have to explain your tears or silence. Just show up as you are.
Jennifer offers virtual therapy across Florida for individuals and families navigating loss.
Grief Doesn’t Mean You’re Failing. It Means You’re Loving, Still.
There’s no right way to grieve, but you don’t have to do it alone.
Book a consultation with Jennifer today.
